Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in mistress_lacey's LiveJournal:

Sunday, November 27th, 2005
8:00 pm	Do you ever feel like sometimes you're never good enough for your significant other? Sometimes I feel this way. I always wanted to date a true metal head, y'know, someone who doesn't like shitty music. Someone I can talk to about the best kind of music in the world. Though, I feel as if I am being judged. Being watched almost. As if I feel I'm not 'metal enough' if that makes sense. Like, I think he expects me to know every lyric, every song title, every EVERYTHING TO any metal song or band. Like, I don't judge him, at all, I know I don't. If he doesn't know a song, or a band that I'm listening to and he asks who it is, I just simply tell him. Sometimes I might just say 'Oh guess' and if he doesn't guess it right, I'll just say who it is and that's that. I won't give any attitude, I won't give any sass, no nothing. Though, sometimes we'll just be listeing to some of his music and he'll ask me who is playing, as if I'm suppose to know, just to prove my 'metalness' I hate it. I never do this to him, but he always does it to me. I have to admit, I don't have the greatest memory -nor have I heard every single song that the bands I listen to have put out. So, it's like you're expected to know what every song is called, or the lyrics to any song you listen to . Or what songs or bands any other person listens to. I dunno, I just feel pressured all the time. Like I'm suppose to know everything and anything about metal. Like, fuck. Sometimes I just feel like giving up trying to prove myself. I know I'm pretty knowledgable when it comes to metal and what not, sometimes more than others. Though with him I feel like it's not enough, because I don't have a fan-fricken-tastic memory like his. I'll admit, I'm stupid when it comes to certain things, because I have a horrible memory, it impede's me on some things. Such as being a walking metal fucking dictionary. Oh well. Just the pro's and con's of dating a metal guy. I should have expected this. It's just not fucking fair that I have not fucking judged him once, and that's all he seems to do with me. I don't fucking ask him what the name of the song I'm listening to is - or what band it is. If he asks me what song or which band is playing, I just fucking say it and don't judge. That's fucking all. Fuck. Current Mood: bitchy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 22nd, 2005
12:15 am	So, life with my parents is fucked up, as usual. So I won't even touch that fucking subject with a ten foot pole. Anywho, Killgore is still fucking alive! Such a fucking trooper. I love that little guy. I expected him to be the second one to go, but yeah! he's still kicking! Bruce bought a pump for the tank to deliver oxygen to the fish. But, we bought too much pump and theres way too many bubbles. I think Killgore is liking it though. Lol anyways, I need sleep. I miss paul so much, we had an amazing weekend despite what happened on friday. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 19th, 2005
5:32 pm	I fucking hate my brother. I hope he fucking rotts in hell. Fucking crack head worthless piece of shit. He's been ruining everything for the past fucking 4 years. Fucking cunt. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
9:10 pm	Another one bites the dust... I have more bad news for you all. Bruce 2.0 could not take Joanne's death and took his own life. He passed on approximately 7:13 pm. RIP Bruce Version 2.0 This has been a tough pass two days. (Comment on this)
2:54 pm	R.I.P Joanne Well everyone...I have some bad news. Joanne passed away lastnight around 8:26 pm. She was a trooper. I guess our extremely high PH level must have gotten to her. It's too bad. Bruce 2.0, Killgore and Bingo are doing better than I thought. You can tell the tank is a little quiet today. Bingo isn't swimming as happy anymore. Killgore won't eat. It's a very depressing day for all of us. Bruce 2.0 seems to be the most depressed one though. Anyways, there is no funeral. Joanne will be greatly remmebered though. I love you Joanne. Current Mood: sad Current Music: Dark Tranquillity (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 14th, 2005
6:35 pm	Fish Tank! My brother and I purchased a fish tank today! It is a 10 gallon. As children, Bruce and I always failed at keeping fish alive, so 10 years hence, we are going to try again. We bought black rocks and blue rocks and mixed them together. We are going to purchase cool skull houses for our dear finned ones. We have to buy a PH level tester and some more water conditioner. It's more work than we thought, but WE WILL NOT FAIL! On friday I saw Quo Vadis. Fucking amazing show. Paul managed to get in, they didn't even ID him. It was amazing that he was there because it was the first time I had ever attended a good show with a significant other. It really meant alot to me when he was holding me, whilst we were both headbanging, drinking beer and growling together, hehe. I suck at growling but I think he said he was somewhat impressed with it. Haha. I suck. But yeah, then I ended up getting way too drunk. I had about 11 beers. Man o man. I almost passed out AT THE VENUE. Yeah, never again...well not for 5 more months, haha. Anyways, I have to tend to the temperature of our fish tank, so bye! Current Mood: excited Current Music: Anything (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
6:33 pm	Track & Field So today, I had to work at 8 o'clock at the trials for the North American Indigenious Games. In a year, the world games will be held in Colorado I believe. So basically, today I we did trials to see who made it into the finals. At first I had to do a shit load of registration and then hand out shirts to everyone. It was funny how the skinny people would choose big shirts, and the fat people would choose small shirts. Then after registration was done, the games started. There was everything going on from high-jump, to 400m run. At first I was the timer, then my aunty was getting confused with everyone giving her the times, so she asked if I could do it. So I started to do it, realizing it was harder then I thought . As the day progressed, more and more people would run, people would fuck up the times etc. It was ghey. I did a pretty good job at it - I think. At least that's what I was told. It finished around 4 pm. I tried calling Paul on my break today but he had already left to go jam. I miss him. Anyways, I ate 4 soft taco and I feel sick now. Blah. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
2:51 pm	Bleh. So, I've told more people about Paul and I getting engaged, and the general reaction was "OH MY GOD! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!" I was pretty shocked. I thought the main reaction would be the obligatory; "What? Are you serious? It's wayyyy too soon to be even considering getting married. Christ" - or something along those lines. So, I've been pretty much content with everyones reaction, it really means alot to me. Although, there was one reaction by someone that I hold dear to me - that almost pretended to be happy for me. I don't really feel like getting into it - because she means alot to me and I always respect her opinions on things - especially decisions I make in my life - and although she says she's supportive, I don't feel it. It really made me sad the way she reacted almost. I thought out of everyone - she'd be the happiest. Guess not. Oh well. I've never felt so right about anything in my life before. Yes I know some of you have known me for years and have probably heard me say that about something or someone before, but like, I just can't describe this. I'm always speechless when it comes to describing mine and Paul's relationship. It almost seems so sureal I suppose. Basically, picture me - then picture my clone as a male - and that's Paul. He says the same thing about me but vise-versa etc. We have so much in common. We laugh at the same things. We have the same views and opinions on things - he's just simply amazing. Spending time with him rules, I feel so comfortable around him. I find that funny because I'm rarely comfortable around anyone. Also, I trust this guy with my life. You all KNOW that I have SUCH a hard time trusting ANYONE, especially males. With Paul, it was automatic trust - I don't know what he does to make me trust him so much, I just...do. It's awesome. I feel so relaxed about Paul because I know that I don't have to worry about him going out and cheating on me. That's the one thing I always hated about relationships - how I always fucking worried if my boyfriend was out fucking the next blond with tits that walked by, y'know? Also, I don't think I've ever been soooo attracted to someone before like I am with Paul. I know I think alot of guys are hot, but Paul, is just fucking like - breath taking. He has gorgeous eyes, with long eyelashes. His shaved head is sooo sexy (lol) and just the shape of his face - blends in so well with everything else. Did I mention his lips? They're sooo sexy, especially when they are touching mine. He's probably the best kisser ever, and I'm not even joking. He has an amazing gorgeous body. He has 3 tattoo's, one in his mouth on his gum line that says 'METALHEAD' - oh come on - how fucking metal is that? lol. One arm band and a tattoo on his left pec that says 'MOM' - how sweet is that? He's just soooo attractive - and I think no matter how many times I tell him, he'll never truely realize. He's probably the sweetest and most caring guy I've ever met too. He makes me feel really special. Falling asleep and waking up in his arms is a feeling I wouldn't trade for anything else in the world. Yep, that includes seeing Emperor live. Shocking isn't it? I could go on about him and how happy I am, but I would be here for a few days. So I'm going to cut this off here. I've never been or felt so happy before, and it's all because of him. Simply amazing. I love him so much and I love you all too. Current Mood: okay Current Music: Opeth (Comment on this)
Monday, August 8th, 2005
8:02 pm	You're all going to think I'm crazy. You're all invited to mine and Paul's wedding in a few years. Haha. He popped the question, I said yes, It was amazing. Current Mood: anxious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 5th, 2005
6:28 pm	Well, lastnight sucked. I hung out with my cousin and my aunt. We ended up going to the casino for a few drinks. Then my bro met up with us so we went to Denny's for food at 1am. I ate fries and gravy. That's it. I got home and it started. I got really sick. I'm still getting sick. I don't know what happened or why. Anyways. Have you ever met someone, and only really known them for a short while - but feel like you've known them forever? I feel this way with a certain someone. The feeling is amazing. This individual claims the same thing. Think it's meant to be? I sure hope so. I'm so in love. It's amazing. Current Mood: sick Current Music: Skinless (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 4th, 2005
6:24 pm	New Journal. I decided that I would create a new account due to my old journal being full of bad memories. Things as of late, in my life, have been changing. I actually feel happy. This is the happiest I've been in a long time. So, look foward to a constant update from my journal. I look foward to reading yours. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Into Eternity (1 Comment |Comment on this)